Date: February, 2004
* Since God spoke Exodus 14:14 right into my soul, I was a new person. I had the confidence I needed to move on and trust that God was doing a work that He didn’t want me to interfere with. He was fighting for me, and well, He always wins. And I… I just relaxed. When he and I crossed paths, there was almost no interaction. This lasted for a couple of months. As I to observed Wouter from afar I got to know him better. The more I watched him, the more I loved him. You may ask, “How can you love someone you don’t even know?” And, I don’t really have an answer for you. All I can say is that when God calls you to love, there is beauty enough in that calling to make you want to embrace the little you know about that person. And that is what Wouter was for me… a calling to be embraced. And since I knew it was from God, I knew it was going to be…wonderful.
I wrote him this letter during our little “cold war,”
When I look at you, I can’t possibly imagine the God would honor me by putting you into my life. When I look ahead to the future and envision us getting to know one another and eventually building a life together, I tremble inside with expectant hope. You are a man of God, favored and loved by Him, and as I commit to you as the one God has called me to love, I will devote my whole self to helping you flourish spiritually. I want to see you grow into the man God has called you to be and I will do everything I can to help you get there. I’m honored just to think that for now, I get to watch you from a distance and yet to come, in the front row of your future.
I will love you,
*I love this simple letter for so many reasons but most of all for the fact that it has a little prophetic message. If you read, Why My Marriage is Divine, a guest post I wrote for Unveiled Wife, you will see the fulfillment of this letter, years later… such an awesome gift from God.
Every Thursday night onboard was community prayer. We would all gather in the main lounge and we would pray for many different things. One Thursday evening, Wouter got up in front as part of a group prayer presentation. He shared something (I honestly cannot remember what it was) and while he was speaking, I remember asking God why He would ever choose someone like me for someone like Wouter. I was truly humbled. Don’t all girls feel that way about their men? I still do…
Anyway after this prayer night, I began fervently praying for Wouter and our future together. These were the prayers I petitioned God for:
-Lord, show me what you are doing in his life. Where are you working?
-Will you keep me from defining him? (Very easy to do when you don’t know a person)
-Lord, help me recognize the aspects of his personality that I need to be sensitive to…his insecurities, fears, inhibitions…
-Show me his walls and what he is hiding from. Build trust in those places.
-Lay a solid foundation for us. Help us both to work through hurts and fears so that we can be whole and healthy.
*I can see how God answered so many of those prayers over time…He is faithful!
*My own ship was about to hit rough seas again…metaphorically speaking. As we entered Holland an unexpected surprise awaited me…