Location: Izmir, Turkey
* After my incident with the shooting star, I walked on air for a few minutes. My new best friend, doubt, had quickly crept up behind me, darkening the light within and pointing out the fact that Wouter himself barely acknowledged my existence. Why would he walk past me several times a day without looking at me? Why did he ignore me when we were in the same room? Why does he get up when I sit down?
I was confused inside and still wrestling with my feelings and what I believed God showed me. I was still, very much, using Wouter’s actions to determine if my impression was true. But God was doing a bigger work in me…teaching me to believe Him in spite of my circumstances.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if we did that naturally? Just believed God?
Anyway, God was also working in me elsewhere, developing my passions and growing me in every way imaginable. Teaching me deep things and revealing the world to me.
One night, during prayer, I asked someone to pray that God would show me my purpose; my calling in life.
Wow, God put this exact sentence on my heart tonight while my friend was praying for me:
“To challenge and encourage young believers toward world missions.”
I always envision myself in front of large groups of people, speaking into their lives. College age…would be ideal. God will show me where I fit in. I feel led to write, as though I should be doing it more often. I need to pray for faithfulness.
I just wonder where you know who will fit into all of this?
Date: December 5 , 2003
Location: Larnaca, Cyprus
Wow! Lord I cannot believe this! You are amazing! Tonight, I ran in to you know who and we began talking. He talked about what he feels his calling is. I never really knew it in depth but I’m so glad I asked him. Guess what it is? Young people! College age… Challenging and encouraging! What did I say my own was before I even knew his? Our future visions match totally! I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! More confirmation….
I feel in my hear that you are calling me to stop praying against this and start praying for it! If, at this point I came to find out that this is not what you have for me, I would be utterly shocked! Let my impressions be true based on my close walk with you. Let me never go astray…
* Can you hear the giddy school girl in me? Although, I felt emotionally high, I knew that I could drop low at any point based on how he was treating me. Learning to be stable in spite of Wouter’s actions was a constant challenge in the first few months, Eventually, I firmly decided to ride the wave and trust that no matter how rough the seas got, the outcome would be the same. Him and me forever.